earlier, i woke at 11 plus and laid in bed till almost 2. how amazing it is dat i can always be so absorbed in my thoughts.

last night i stood at the very window where i used to run through my thoughts when darkness falls. soon later, it was the spot i would frequently puff at, in the middle of the night. as years passed, i stood at the very same window but got involved in diff activities. i went on monitoring my bike, making sure no one vandalizes it. and finally, checking if fatimah is around to give me a fine on my car. yet at this moment, or rather last night, i stood dere doing nth, just gazing around. i'm back to square one. i guess in life, its normal to make huge detours and be back at the start line. and i can't help but ponder over bo's words when we were still in np, at the cosy smoking corner behind the overhead bridge. well, only time will tell.

i realised i can be very bias. from the way i place my chips disproportionately, its pretty clear. this isn't a good thing. i'll try to change.

of all ppl, i should've known better; how it feels lyk to be in a nv ending race, to haf finally caught sight of the target, managed to hold on to the target for a moment and head back tog, only to realise dat after a short while the target would slip of my grip and move in the opp direction where the chase has to start all over again. i shuld haf known better dat the grip would be tighter each tym for the fear of losing the target increases. but i guess its nv easy to see the bigger picture when u're in it. its tiring, i know.

home visits are really warm to my heart. where such company is of much appreciation.

mom said bcoz of my accident, alot of her plans got cancelled. and there's this upcoming wedding of her ex boss's daughter in india where arrangements have been made. but if i dun get any better, the trip might hafta be forgone. it feels lyk the first day in the hospital, where it did hurt really bad and tears were flowing but i chose to put up a diff slide and gave assurance instead. one person going tru the agony and pain is enuff, i dun nid my love ones to go tru it with me. and as days passed, my emotions got more unstable but i choose to relate to everyone dat i'm fine. now dat my condition has worsen, i really can't bring myself to be honest with her.
`being at the wrong place at the wrong tym

i feel lyk having a la kopi session. the chilling would do me good.

i'm looking forward to next yr. i made a plan. or rather a few of us made a plan. lets see if the plan will be carried out.

if one is sinking and dere were 3 life boats:
one dat wouldn't sink but remains stationary
one dat moves but can't gaurantee when it will be deflated
one dat moves and has warranty of not sinking (at least not as fast)
is it really dat hard ?
life.

Labels: the big picture