over the weekends, i was very happy. so happy dat i forgot i could be tis happy. it probably has been a long tym. still, great frens make tings happen. just lyk how a magic stick works. hahaa.

she said i should try to give less, so as not to feel tired.

i said, how do u give less when u don't love any lesser than before ?

i lived a dream. back on bed, i fear wad i had would disappear when i awake. i wished somehow time could stop, and i could be in ur arms for a longer time. i didn't want to wake from that scene. i start to know how its lyk to feel scared. to lose wad i was holding onto just seconds ago.

morning came, my head ached till i wasn't allowed to think. my eyes were swollen, tired, pain, probably unwilling to open and see wad lies ahead.

i met my ladies.
it was nice to see mori feeling all blissful and in love. i feel the joy for her, i'm definitely happy for her.
it was nice to be able to take some of the hurt, confusion and troubles from pauline and place it upon me, thereby sharing the after effect with her. afterall, its the same rough patch, its the same kinda tears, and probably the same kinda haunting.
it was nice to be cuddling with yeebee while strolling in ms. as we held each other with such love and sincerity, i feel so certain dat depreciation ain't coming between us. to fall aslp on one another in the bus in the midst of sharing our heavy hearts.

i'm grateful for wad i haf. as for wad i'm missing, i'll make do with it. wad i haf, is actuali more dan enuff.

i sat in the car, staring into blank space, hoping to clear some weights off my chest. yet i still drove with my mind fully occupied. thoughts. feelings. memories. its a miracle i din cause other road users inconvenience and reached my destination in one piece.

i said i dreamt of alot of things but nth happened lyk i how i dreamt it to. i was told to stop dreaming and start making things happen. hadn't i done it ? the shared blog, the joint account, the diary, the photomontage, the knitted sweater, the disc, the box..etc. oh, i forgot, i forgot my worth.

i miss my mother.

i smiled, bcoz even such a small bling at such a hidden place, was noticed by you.

Labels: to be loved and to love