i greeted her with a forceful smile and a whole lot of tears.
she greeted me with an opened hoegarden and insisted i should haf a mouth before i start driving.

i was so lost i don't even know how to stop those tears, how to stop the pain, how to stop myself from going back for more.

it hurts. it really does. every cut sinks in deeper. every scar i wear gets pryed open again. every tear just hooked on to more, making it impossible to stop.

3 days of free flow, hasn't it been emptied ? where the fuck are they coming from. the swell became a routine, the soreness became exhaustion.

the turth hurts. i'm not that strong after all. the same few words lingered in my head. the same few words are tearing me apart. i had always believe one shouldn't ask for the truth when one can't handle it. but i was reminded, by not asking is simply living in denial. so i asked. and the truth swept me off my feet into a hole full of injections piercing through every possible space left on my heart. it hurts so bad, i thought i would die. yet i still get to wake and go through it all over again.

i hate myself. i hate it how i choose to get hurt.

u're such a jerk to let me walk. i'm such an ass to even have went.

i didn't know i could wept so badly. and fuck, it gets worse each time.

"to have thought of before and not know now" was probably the shot that killed me.

the run, the tan, the facial. just to get that second look. how pathetic or rather how much lower ?

我算是什么 ? 我到底算是什么..

Labels: murdered