he must be thinking wad a freak i am. for the moment he spoke, with such a tender tone and that look in his eyes, tears welled in my eyes and i can't help but got choke on them. the overwhelming feeling came from nowhere. the way a dad speaks to his daughter, he touched while you irritate the shit out of me.

i want that jacket too..
pouts-

and i had long forgotten how it was like to make my way home together with someone else. to the extend that the bus ride felt awfully awkward. and to share, i was nowhere near. strange yet familiar to the scene ;closed and smile.

i saw her blog. and as i read, the pain was so real, almost like i was reliving the moment. yet i admire her courage. i can never be as brave. the way she lets it out. it's what till todae i'm incapable of. its not denial. acknowledge ? i don't know. but as far as i know and where i can go..
; because after all that you've done
the pain will never, go away.
it hurts me even more as i lie but forgetting doesn't happen overnight. or over the nights. still, at least i know someone feels me.

leave me alone. i need my space.